38-tiered uni ladder: Fee paying students still trailer trash?

In an opinion piece for the June 5th edition of The Age the Minister for Education, Dr Brendan Nelson attempted to allay the fears of his critics by announcing that his 'reform' package was not designed to create a two-tiered university sector, "but a 38-tiered system."

"We had seen the potential under the proposed system for the establishment of a university ladder - like the AFL, but with slightly sadder outcomes for those relegated to the bottom," said CAPA President Benjamin McKay. "It is good to see that the Minister is braver than we were in publicly declaring that this is to be the case."

This latest revelation comes hot on the heals of the Minister's colourful likening of the university sector to an assortment of both and public and private transportation options. "I loved the image of the university as a bus towing a trailer laden with full fee paying students at the rear," McKay said.

"I just have one question for the Minister in relation to this metaphor: If we are not encouraging the perception of two tiers of students then why aren't they travelling up front with rest?"

"A 38 tiered university sector with different grades playing within their own camps will provide the punters with a ruthlessly competitive round of matches," McKay continued. "If this is the future for Higher Education then has anyone thought of the benefits of actually allowing betting to take place? After all the Opera House Lottery helped to build a national icon."

In a week that has seen a lot of mixed and confusing messages coming from some sections of the Higher Education sector, CAPA is proud that it is steadfast in its opposition to the Nelson Higher Education proposals if they are to be tabled and adopted en bloc.

"All mirth at the lighter side of the debate aside, we were encouraged to see that The Greens are taking the problems of the sector seriously." McKay concluded. "Their bid to re-direct the $4 tax cuts to a free and fair university system is to be applauded. At last a recommitment to an affordable and equitable sector that is based on quality."